Well, there are lots of things that I'm afraid of.. Bugs, drowning, etc.. But, since the topic requests "legitimate" fears, I'll try my best to focus on my major fears. Considering, in my mind at least, all of my fears are legitimate (no matter how silly they are..LOL).
Fear #1: Balloons. I know, I know, seems really silly right? But balloons are in my top 5 fears. The only reason why I placed them at the top of this list, is b/c it's the first one that came to mind. I've been afraid of balloons since I was a child. I had one popped in my face at a young age, and have been scared of them ever since. I will literally run away from a balloon. My kids aren't "allowed" to have them in my home. I just can't stand the sight of them, the squeaky sound they make, etc. It's so bad, that when we go to a restaurant with the kids, and those people come around to the tables to make those balloon animals, we tell them no. I've even had a few of those people laugh at me for telling them no b/c I'm scared of balloons. Sure, to others it may seem silly, but to me, this a real, true fear, and I don't care who thinks it's silly. Just please, don't tease me by shoving a balloon in my face. It's not nice, and I will cry. :(
Fear #3: Now this one is on a more serious note.. Losing everything and everyone I love. In dealing with life, we all go through trials and tribulations. It's part of what makes us who we are, after all! But losing everything has always been one of my biggest fears. It probably all started when I lost my father to suicide when I was 14 years old. Being a "Daddy's Girl" and him being the center of my existence, I was completely, totally, and utterly devastated when he passed away. Especially due to the fact that he took his own life. It's hard to wrap your head around the fact of someone doing that to themselves, even more so when it's a loved one, or a parent.
I lost most of my "friends" when I became pregnant with my son at the age of 15. Naturally teenagers are not a very "accepting" crowd in general, but it was truly upsetting to know that these people I thought were my friends were now gossiping about me, or looking at me in a different way b/c of that fact. The ones who didn't leave my side, I am proud to say are still some of my closest friends to this day, and I am blessed by their friendship! :)
I lost my first husband to "wrong priorities" we'll say. I don't wish to air out all of the dirty laundry about that relationship, but even though said relationship had been sour for a while, a woman still mourns for that loss of closeness and the bond that was once shared. I'm very proud to report on the other hand, that he is doing much better nowadays, and is being more involved in the kids' life, and that's what's most important. We're friends, and that means a lot to me. :)
I lost a precious little baby before I got pregnant with Madisin. I was 13 weeks when I miscarried, and it was devastating to me. A mother mourns over the children she loses, whether she had them for a long time, a little time, or never got to meet them. We (I know I do) take solace in the fact that he/she is resting peacefully in the arms of Jesus, and I will be with him/her one day. :)
My grandmother passed away a month before Madisin was born. She raised me, and she was my Mom. She had always been there for me, even when everyone else wasn't. Losing her was very hard. I still miss her terribly, just as I miss my Dad terribly, every day.
And my last "I lost" (haha), I lost everything I owned 5 or 6 years ago. Yes, material things can always be replaced, but there were some things I lost that could never be replaced: Items belonging to my Dad and Grandma, the kids' baby pictures, etc.. So while I still get a bit emotional about those items, I've gotten over the rest of it.
Basically, b/c I have lost so many people around me that I held so dear, my biggest fear would be everyone else in my life that I love and cherish will have something happen to them and I will lose them too. I know death is a part of life, and we can't control what happens, but I get this overwhelming feeling sometimes that they will just all be ripped from me in some cruel twist of fate. :/ This is definitely a fear that I pray about constantly. I need to leave it ALL in God's hands and let Him handle my burden. After all, it's not my burden to carry, right? :)
I really didn't expect to do ALL this talking..haha.. It's late, and I remembered I had to do my post. :) I certainly hope y'all made sense of my rambling..haha
What are some things you guys are fearful/afraid of? They are by no means silly, so please share!
-Coming from the chick who's scared of balloons, have a great night all! ;)
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I am scared of biscuits in a can...I go screaming and yes sometimes I even cry when they are popped open near me...I too have a fear of balloons and a very LARGE fear of clowns! I also fear losing everyone I hold close in some strange happening. But I as you said leave it in Gods hands and let him guide me and my thoughts to better places...
ReplyDeleteLove ya sis
Jen, this is really good writing. Be sure this post is saved to paper or a flash drive. If you take a writing course when you continue your education, this will fill one of your writing assignments. I'm sure it will get an A and be shared with the class. Keep writing; you have a gift. Thanks for sharing that gift with us.
ReplyDeleteJudy
Katy, I can totally sympathize with the fear of biscuits in a can! I loathe them! haha.. After 5 years, Harry still laughs at me when I hand him a can of biscuits to open. :p I know he laughs with love though, so he gets a pass..lol! Yes, we need to give all of our fears, worries, and anxieties up to God and let Him handle them. It's so hard though, b/c as humans, we think we can handle them on our own, when that is so not the case. Just gotta take it day by day, and remember to lean on God, instead of ourselves. ;)
ReplyDeleteJudy, Thank you so very much! :) Writing has always been one of my strong suits. When I was in high school, in 9th grade, I was at a 12th grade reading and writing level. As far back as I can remember, I've always enjoyed reading and writing. It's a quality my Dad instilled in me at a young age, and I'm very thankful for it. :) I will definitely take your advice and back this up. I do have a flash drive, and didn't think of saving it, so thank you! :)