2/30: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
Well, there are lots of things that I'm afraid of.. Bugs, drowning, etc.. But, since the topic requests "legitimate" fears, I'll try my best to focus on my major fears. Considering, in my mind at least, all of my fears are legitimate (no matter how silly they are..LOL).
Fear #1: Balloons. I know, I know, seems really silly right? But balloons are in my top 5 fears. The only reason why I placed them at the top of this list, is b/c it's the first one that came to mind. I've been afraid of balloons since I was a child. I had one popped in my face at a young age, and have been scared of them ever since. I will literally run away from a balloon. My kids aren't "allowed" to have them in my home. I just can't stand the sight of them, the squeaky sound they make, etc. It's so bad, that when we go to a restaurant with the kids, and those people come around to the tables to make those balloon animals, we tell them no. I've even had a few of those people laugh at me for telling them no b/c I'm scared of balloons. Sure, to others it may seem silly, but to me, this a real, true fear, and I don't care who thinks it's silly. Just please, don't tease me by shoving a balloon in my face. It's not nice, and I will cry. :(
Fear #2: Clowns. Now I know this is not unheard of. Many people don't like/are scared of clowns. I myself, will run crying and screaming at the sight of a clown. I'm sure it all began from watching the movie "It" when I was WAY too young to watch it. Thankfully my kids aren't big fans of clowns either, so it's not something I have to deal with regularly. You know that old saying, "Everyone loves a clown?" Everyone does NOT love a clown! haha..
Fear #3: Now this one is on a more serious note.. Losing everything and everyone I love. In dealing with life, we all go through trials and tribulations. It's part of what makes us who we are, after all! But losing everything has always been one of my biggest fears. It probably all started when I lost my father to suicide when I was 14 years old. Being a "Daddy's Girl" and him being the center of my existence, I was completely, totally, and utterly devastated when he passed away. Especially due to the fact that he took his own life. It's hard to wrap your head around the fact of someone doing that to themselves, even more so when it's a loved one, or a parent.
I lost most of my "friends" when I became pregnant with my son at the age of 15. Naturally teenagers are not a very "accepting" crowd in general, but it was truly upsetting to know that these people I thought were my friends were now gossiping about me, or looking at me in a different way b/c of that fact. The ones who didn't leave my side, I am proud to say are still some of my closest friends to this day, and I am blessed by their friendship! :)
I lost my first husband to "wrong priorities" we'll say. I don't wish to air out all of the dirty laundry about that relationship, but even though said relationship had been sour for a while, a woman still mourns for that loss of closeness and the bond that was once shared. I'm very proud to report on the other hand, that he is doing much better nowadays, and is being more involved in the kids' life, and that's what's most important. We're friends, and that means a lot to me. :)
I lost a precious little baby before I got pregnant with Madisin. I was 13 weeks when I miscarried, and it was devastating to me. A mother mourns over the children she loses, whether she had them for a long time, a little time, or never got to meet them. We (I know I do) take solace in the fact that he/she is resting peacefully in the arms of Jesus, and I will be with him/her one day. :)
My grandmother passed away a month before Madisin was born. She raised me, and she was my Mom. She had always been there for me, even when everyone else wasn't. Losing her was very hard. I still miss her terribly, just as I miss my Dad terribly, every day.
And my last "I lost" (haha), I lost everything I owned 5 or 6 years ago. Yes, material things can always be replaced, but there were some things I lost that could never be replaced: Items belonging to my Dad and Grandma, the kids' baby pictures, etc.. So while I still get a bit emotional about those items, I've gotten over the rest of it.
Basically, b/c I have lost so many people around me that I held so dear, my biggest fear would be everyone else in my life that I love and cherish will have something happen to them and I will lose them too. I know death is a part of life, and we can't control what happens, but I get this overwhelming feeling sometimes that they will just all be ripped from me in some cruel twist of fate. :/ This is definitely a fear that I pray about constantly. I need to leave it ALL in God's hands and let Him handle my burden. After all, it's not my burden to carry, right? :)
I really didn't expect to do ALL this talking..haha.. It's late, and I remembered I had to do my post. :) I certainly hope y'all made sense of my rambling..haha
What are some things you guys are fearful/afraid of? They are by no means silly, so please share!
-Coming from the chick who's scared of balloons, have a great night all! ;)
1/30: List 20 Random Facts About Yourself..
1) I am a big time animal lover! Cats mainly, but all animals hold a special place in my heart. I feel the need to take them in/help them/etc.. And would have a million animals if I could..lol! One of my life's dreams is to open a cat rescue. :)
2) I love to read and write poetry, though my writing has come to a bit of a standstill in recent years.
3) I love my children more than life itself, but there are days I want to hang them by their ankles from the oak trees out front..ha!
4) I question myself and my ability to do things daily. All things I want to/try to accomplish require a lot of thought and planning on my part.
5) I wish I had more confidence.
6) I love shoes! Though, I really wish I could walk around barefoot everywhere..lol!
7) I love, love, love taking pictures! I would love to do it professionally, though, I feel a calling towards another profession.
8) As the above mentions, the calling I feel God has put on my heart is to become a substance abuse counselor.
9) I had my oldest child when I was 16 years old.
10) I love being outdoors.
11) I thank God every single day for bringing my husband and I together. I didn't believe in Soul Mates until I met him.
12) I surrendered my life to Christ on July 25th, 2010, and it was one of the most bittersweet moments of my life; not only because of the new life I was starting, but because my son was baptized the same day, and I was able to do it! <3
13) I love being able to stay at home with my children and be here to see them grow and learn daily, but with my youngest starting school soon, and me starting school soon hopefully myself, the idea of being something other than "just a mom" frightens me.
14) I love, love, love the Twilight books and movies (Team Edward! lol).
15) I don't have many good friends, but the ones I do have I have known for 10+ years. :)
16) A lot of people don't know how to take me (i.e. my humor, personality, etc..) and when someone doesn't like me for any particular reason, it secretly bothers me.
17) Sometimes I have trouble expressing when something is bothering me. I hold it in, saying everything "Is fine", even though it really isn't. It mainly boils down to the fact that I don't like confrontation.
18) I like to watch cartoons with (or without) my kids. ;) I'm a kid at heart.
19) My family is REALLY loud, and while is gets on my nerves sometimes, I wouldn't have it any other way.
20) It was kinda hard to think of all these things to write!
What are some random things about you that you'd like to share? :)
So, I saw this idea on a friend's blog and thought it would be fun to do! Basically, every day (or close to) I will post one random fact about myself from the list below. The idea is for others to get a closer look at you and your personality, and for yourself to see ways you've grown and changed. :) In wanting to be more transparent, I really liked the idea of doing it. So, here's the list:
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
I hope y'all enjoy following along as I take on this challenge! :)
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