30 Things: 2/30

2/30:  Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.


Well, there are lots of things that I'm afraid of.. Bugs, drowning, etc.. But, since the topic requests "legitimate" fears, I'll try my best to focus on my major fears. Considering, in my mind at least, all of my fears are legitimate (no matter how silly they are..LOL).


Fear #1: Balloons. I know, I know, seems really silly right? But balloons are in my top 5 fears. The only reason why I placed them at the top of this list, is b/c it's the first one that came to mind. I've been afraid of balloons since I was a child. I had one popped in my face at a young age, and have been scared of them ever since. I will literally run away from a balloon. My kids aren't "allowed" to have them in my home. I just can't stand the sight of them, the squeaky sound they make, etc. It's so bad, that when we go to a restaurant with the kids, and those people come around to the tables to make those balloon animals, we tell them no. I've even had a few of those people laugh at me for telling them no b/c I'm scared of balloons. Sure, to others it may seem silly, but to me, this a real, true fear, and I don't care who thinks it's silly. Just please, don't tease me by shoving a balloon in my face. It's not nice, and I will cry. :(

Fear #2: Clowns. Now I know this is not unheard of. Many people don't like/are scared of clowns. I myself, will run crying and screaming at the sight of a clown. I'm sure it all began from watching the movie "It" when I was WAY too young to watch it. Thankfully my kids aren't big fans of clowns either, so it's not something I have to deal with regularly. You know that old saying, "Everyone loves a clown?" Everyone does NOT love a clown! haha..


Fear #3: Now this one is on a more serious note.. Losing everything and everyone I love. In dealing with life, we all go through trials and tribulations. It's part of what makes us who we are, after all! But losing everything has always been one of my biggest fears. It probably all started when I lost my father to suicide when I was 14 years old. Being a "Daddy's Girl" and him being the center of my existence, I was completely, totally, and utterly devastated when he passed away. Especially due to the fact that he took his own life. It's hard to wrap your head around the fact of someone doing that to themselves, even more so when it's a loved one, or a parent.
I lost most of my "friends" when I became pregnant with my son at the age of 15. Naturally teenagers are not a very "accepting" crowd in general, but it was truly upsetting to know that these people I thought were my friends were now gossiping about me, or looking at me in a different way b/c of that fact. The ones who didn't leave my side, I am proud to say are still some of my closest friends to this day, and I am blessed by their friendship! :)
I lost my first husband to "wrong priorities" we'll say. I don't wish to air out all of the dirty laundry about that relationship, but even though said relationship had been sour for a while, a woman still mourns for that loss of closeness and the bond that was once shared. I'm very proud to report on the other hand, that he is doing much better nowadays, and is being more involved in the kids' life, and that's what's most important. We're friends, and that means a lot to me. :)
I lost a precious little baby before I got pregnant with Madisin. I was 13 weeks when I miscarried, and it was devastating to me. A mother mourns over the children she loses, whether she had them for a long time, a little time, or never got to meet them. We (I know I do) take solace in the fact that he/she is resting peacefully in the arms of Jesus, and I will be with him/her one day. :)
My grandmother passed away a month before Madisin was born. She raised me, and she was my Mom. She had always been there for me, even when everyone else wasn't. Losing her was very hard. I still miss her terribly, just as I miss my Dad terribly, every day.
And my last "I lost" (haha), I lost everything I owned 5 or 6 years ago. Yes, material things can always be replaced, but there were some things I lost that could never be replaced: Items belonging to my Dad and Grandma, the kids' baby pictures, etc.. So while I still get a bit emotional about those items, I've gotten over the rest of it.
Basically, b/c I have lost so many people around me that I held so dear, my biggest fear would be everyone else in my life that I love and cherish will have something happen to them and I will lose them too. I know death is a part of life, and we can't control what happens, but I get this overwhelming feeling sometimes that they will just all be ripped from me in some cruel twist of fate. :/ This is definitely a fear that I pray about constantly. I need to leave it ALL in God's hands and let Him handle my burden. After all, it's not my burden to carry, right? :) 
I really didn't expect to do ALL this talking..haha.. It's late, and I remembered I had to do my post. :) I certainly hope y'all made sense of my rambling..haha
What are some things you guys are fearful/afraid of? They are by no means silly, so please share! 
-Coming from the chick who's scared of balloons, have a great night all! ;)

30 Things; 1/30..

1/30: List 20 Random Facts About Yourself..


1) I am a big time animal lover! Cats mainly, but all animals hold a special place in my heart. I feel the need to take them in/help them/etc.. And would have a million animals if I could..lol! One of my life's dreams is to open a cat rescue. :)


2) I love to read and write poetry, though my writing has come to a bit of a standstill in recent years.


3) I love my children more than life itself, but there are days I want to hang them by their ankles from the oak trees out front..ha!


4) I question myself and my ability to do things daily. All things I want to/try to accomplish require a lot of thought and planning on my part.


5) I wish I had more confidence.


6) I love shoes! Though, I really wish I could walk around barefoot everywhere..lol!


7) I love, love, love taking pictures! I would love to do it professionally, though, I feel a calling towards another profession.


8) As the above mentions, the calling I feel God has put on my heart is to become a substance abuse counselor.


9) I had my oldest child when I was 16 years old.


10) I love being outdoors.


11) I thank God every single day for bringing my husband and I together. I didn't believe in Soul Mates until I met him.


12) I surrendered my life to Christ on July 25th, 2010, and it was one of the most bittersweet moments of my life; not only because of the new life I was starting, but because my son was baptized the same day, and I was able to do it! <3


13) I love being able to stay at home with my children and be here to see them grow and learn daily, but with my youngest starting school soon, and me starting school soon hopefully myself, the idea of being something other than "just a mom" frightens me.


14) I love, love, love the Twilight books and movies (Team Edward! lol).


15) I don't have many good friends, but the ones I do have I have known for 10+ years. :)


16) A lot of people don't know how to take me (i.e. my humor, personality, etc..) and when someone doesn't like me for any particular reason, it secretly bothers me.


17) Sometimes I have trouble expressing when something is bothering me. I hold it in, saying everything "Is fine", even though it really isn't. It mainly boils down to the fact that I don't like confrontation.


18) I like to watch cartoons with (or without) my kids. ;) I'm a kid at heart.


19) My family is REALLY loud, and while is gets on my nerves sometimes, I wouldn't have it any other way.


20) It was kinda hard to think of all these things to write!

What are some random things about you that you'd like to share? :)

30 Things..

So, I saw this idea on a friend's blog and thought it would be fun to do! Basically, every day (or close to) I will post one random fact about myself from the list below. The idea is for others to get a closer look at you and your personality, and for yourself to see ways you've grown and changed. :) In wanting to be more transparent, I really liked the idea of doing it. So, here's the list:



1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.


I hope y'all enjoy following along as I take on this challenge! :)

First Post Of The New Year..

Happy New Year Everyone! :)

I love, love, love the beginning of the year! For me, it's a time to examine life and figure out what positive changes need to be made. For some, self-examination can be a hard thing to do. I know that I personally love reevaluating my life, and direction it's headed, to see what needs changing and what can stay the same. This year is going to be a very exciting year for my family, and my heart is overflowing with joy just thinking about all the changes ahead for us! :) First, my husband Harry has decided to take on a new job. He's been with his current employer for 4 years, and while he has been very good to Harry, it's time to move on. Harry feels that he hasn't gone far in the company in 4 years, and when the opportunity arose for him to excel somewhere else, he jumped at the idea. He had an interview earlier in the week, and the man who interviewed him said the job is his if he wants it! Exciting stuff! This new job will offer more benefits, an opportunity to "climb the ladder" and will just be overall better for my sweet husband and our family. Harry and I are over the moon about this! :)

This year we plan to buy our first home. (this is one of the things I'm most excited about!) We have already been looking at listings online and such, and have found THE house we want! Within the next month we are going to start the process. We're praying we'll be able to get the home that we absolutely fell in love with, and if it's God's will, we will. But we're also keeping an open mind on the whole process, and know in our hearts that we will find the right home for us. :) The prospect of being homeowners is so exciting! There are SO many things you can do with your own home that you can't do with a home you're renting.. It's all just so exciting, and I'm sure there will be more details to give once this is all started.

Probably the biggest thing going on this year would be my "baby" starting Kindergarten! Madi's birthday is 8 days away, and she will be the big 5! It seems like yesterday she was a sweet little baby, and now she's a big girl getting ready to start school.. I knew this time would be here before I knew it, but I'd be lying if I said I was prepared for it. Madi is the youngest of our three children, and the last, and her starting school is like the end of an era for me. I certainly treasure all the time I have spent with all of my kids before they embarked on the journey into "big kid-dom", and when Keith and Hailiey started school it was a little different because I still had others at home. But now that Madi is going to start school, it'll just be me at home, and quite honestly I'm not going to know what to do with myself. (well I do, but I'll get into that in a minute..lol) I do know one thing though, on that first day, when I see her walking away from me and into that classroom, I'm going to cry like a baby! But then again, I did that when Keith and Hailiey both started school..haha.. Madi is so excited about being able to go to school, and I am excited for her. I just know she is going to love it! :)

Now as for not knowing what to do with myself when that happens, that's not entirely the truth.. I have had plans to go back to school myself for several years, but put it on the back burner for the sake of devoting myself 100% to my children while they were still at home. With Madi starting school this fall, it gives me the opportunity to go back to school myself. I'm very excited, but at the same time a little nervous. I haven't been in school or used any kind of school-like thought processes for years, and I'm afraid I won't do well. I know in a way it's just Satan trying to get me down, and I need not think like that. But also in a way, I know that insecurity runs hand in hand with making changes, and you just have to have faith that everything will work out. :) I've already been looking online for colleges, and I plan to go for Elementary Education. When I was little I desired to be a teacher, but my focus changed so much over the years to different careers. After examining all the things that interested me, I came back to that childhood desire of teaching. I think having the opportunity to work with young children this summer with my church during vacation Bible school, strengthened that some too.. :) I feel a drive and a yearning to make a difference, and teaching will be the way to accomplish that in my eyes. Young children are filled with such wonder and excitement, and I simply adore the way the view life. If we could all look at life through the eyes of a child, I think things would be a lot better! ;)

 There's just SO much fun and exciting things on tap for this new year; Birthdays, Harry and I's first wedding anniversary, trips, and fun times. I'm ready for 'em all! I hope everyone had a great New Year's, and is enjoying all things positive so far! I look forward to sharing all of the great things to come in 2012! <3

Let's Be Honest, Sometimes Your Kids Can drive You Nuts!

Let me start off by saying that this week has not been a good week for me thus far.. As the title explains, there are times when yes, our kids drive us crazy. Do we love them any less? Of course not! But there are days when we as Moms are frustrated, tired, and just plain fed up with everything. Today in particular, I've been feeling very defeated. Since Christmas day, I've been trying to get my home back in order. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, organizing, etc..(With three kids at home, I accept the fact that I can't always accomplish what I set out to do, but I try my best.) It seems this week, that every time I started and finished a task, there was more for me to do.. I attribute that fact to my 4-year-old daughter, Madi, who in her own right should be labeled as a "Weapon Of Mass Destruction." haha.. I laugh, but she can be destructive, and this week in particular she has shown no mercy. As soon as I got one tiny mess cleaned up, she created another, twice as bad as the original one. :/ This has been going on ALL week. I suppose this week she's in her "I'm gonna be a little booger" mood. (All of you Momma's can relate to that to some extent I'm sure..lol) To add insult to injury, on Tuesday one of our fish tanks broke. I'm sure you all are picturing a fish tank shattering and water and fish going everywhere! haha.. That's not what happened, thank God. :) The bottom glass had separated from the silicone, leaking the water out and onto the floor. *grumble* So we had to go buy a new one. Money we didn't plan on spending.. *grumble* But it's fixed now, and the critters are fine. :) Unexpected things like that can always knock us for a loop, and the trick is to not let it get you down. I know this is fact, but I just can't seem to get it together in my head this week. Cranky kids, a messy home, and broken fish tanks leave me feeling defeated. Oh, and let's not forget to mention the 11-year-old and 8-year-old who practically can't be in the same room together because they fight like cats and dogs.. Again.. *grumble* haha.. I can say though, as I pull the VERY last hair from my head (LOL!), that I wouldn't trade anything for the world. I'm extremely thankful for a loving and patient God, who constantly reminds me that all will be well. I have an equally loving and patient husband who, no matter what, supports me and lifts me up. And of course, the three greatest blessings I've been given, my children. They can drive me absolutely insane, but I love them SO much, and if I didn't have them, I don't know what I'd do with myself. I'm thankful for everything I have in this life, and in times such as these, I need to remind myself to sit back, take a breather, and remember all the blessings I've been given. Is it hard? Certainly. But no one said this life would be easy. Plus, I keep reassuring myself that things can only get better. ;) I know they will.. Tomorrow is a brand new day after all!

It's Amazing How The Littlest Things Can Make You SO Happy..

Well, just as the title explains, it truly is the littlest things that can make you really happy. For example, today I just received a computer from my totally awesome friend Chrissy. I haven't had a computer for about 6 years now, and yes there were times when not having one was inconvienient, but the rest of the time I didn't really much care. I had internet on my phone, and that was good enough for me.. But now I can say, "WOW! What was I missing!" Things are so much easier to access on a computer, and the biggest thing, my kids being tickled pink about not being "out of the loop" anymore. Their joy is truly my joy, and to see their smiles and hear their squeals of joy makes my heart burst! =) It's not just little things like a gift from a friend though.. It's a look you receive from your child, a hug when you're in a bad mood, a call from a friend to brighten your day, and a strong shoulder to lean upon after a hard day. All these things mean oh so very much, and they hold no monetary value. As we near Christmas, I hope and pray that we can all learn to appreciate the little things a little more. They really do mean the most. =) 

So here I am.. =)

Hello all! This is my first time having an actual blog, but I've been feeling a need to write down ordinary, everyday things, and the going's on in my life for quite some time now. I've tried journaling before, but can't ever seem to feel the sense of fulfillment from it that I thought I would. Sometimes you need outside opinions, or sometimes there are things you just feel bursting to shout to the world. So.. Here I am..=) I hope you all enjoy my random blabbing, and stories about the craziness that is my beautiful family. ;)